you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize