i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
