I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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