i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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