I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You were trust falling into bushes
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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