Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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