I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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