Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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