What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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