make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
