Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
do nipples grow back?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
