He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I currently don't understand fingers.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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