he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize