dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
