Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
