i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
