Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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