youre lurking in front of me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
