hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
