it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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