i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
