i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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