i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
