I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
