My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
