I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
