Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
