the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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