I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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