I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
