I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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