The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
