Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
