I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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