I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
