I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
