I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
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How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need water and some morals
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?