before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.