I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.