he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.