"it" just moved
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
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I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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