exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Randomize
