I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
