You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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