I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
