why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
