And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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