Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
