I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I came so hard my ears popped.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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