Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You need Xanax blowdarts
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize