also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
