dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER