Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.