is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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