so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
