Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later. http://tfl.nu/9vwo
  Replies (4) Good night (2284) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever. http://tfl.nu/1b0y
  Replies (57) Good night (1489) Bad night (7534)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box http://tfl.nu/xete
  Replies (3) Good night (2460) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house. http://tfl.nu/rgic
  Replies (10) Good night (2620) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL... http://tfl.nu/zpti
  Replies (6) Good night (2180) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059
  Replies (8) Good night (1441) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/53df
  Replies (6) Good night (1851) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger. http://tfl.nu/dtz4
  Replies (5) Good night (2070) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night. http://tfl.nu/jjc7
  Replies (8) Good night (1099) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned. http://tfl.nu/e67l
  Replies (9) Good night (1549) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year http://tfl.nu/q4wn
  Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way. http://tfl.nu/m2c2
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man. http://tfl.nu/m7bs
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland. http://tfl.nu/s0xd
  Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome. http://tfl.nu/9r5o
  Replies (5) Good night (267) Bad night (568)

Randomize