Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?