I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT