Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Randomize
