i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
