Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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