The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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