I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
