i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
