If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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