So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
