Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
