Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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