you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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