Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
