Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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