How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I need moral support for this bender
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
