Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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