So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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