I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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