Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
one two three fourrrrnication!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
